What’s wrong with men proposing ?

Images such as the one above get on my nerves. Marriage is a partnership between two equals. Why would one party kneel to the other? And why is proposing left to the man, while women are left to answer Yes or No? In heterosexual couples, 95% of the time men pop the question. It’s an advantage for gay couples that this gender discrimination does not happen.

Over thirty years ago, I recall my then boyfriend and I were sitting in O Sole Mio an Italian restaurant in Bogota discussing our future. In my recollection, it was I who asked, “Do we want to get married?” A long conversation followed at the end of which we agreed to marry. The question did not belong to him more than it belonged to me. The answer too pertained to both of us.

Why wait for your partner to propose if you know what you want? My father believed that a young woman should not call a man on the phone, “it’s inappropriate,” he said. I would sit next to the phone willing it to ring. The memory of waiting to be called is probably what angers me today when I hear a woman is waiting for her boyfriend to propose. Why not take the lead? It’s an important decision in life. We should not relinquish the right to decide when and if and how to pop the question.